What I Meant To Say
by Crystal Blue Montana
Summary: Post-Act 6.  Chiaki had apologized to Kotoha for calling her stupid, but after he carries her home after a long day, he finds that he has more to say to her.  Chiaki-centric one-shot, with VERY subtle Chiaki/Kotoha leanings.


**What I Meant To Say**

**This is a purely speculative scenario about what happened after Chiaki carried Kotoha home at the end of Act 6. I'd like to imagine that it happened, even if it probably didn't. ^^;;**

**As much as I love Chiaki/Kotoha, I'm not going to categorize this story as a romance, because the time of this story is at a point when the characters are still getting acquainted. In my interpretation of events, I think it's where the seed of the romance was planted, but neither one knows it yet.**

**Disclaimer: _Samurai Sentai Shinkenger_ and all related references are the property of Toei of Japan. No infringement is intended or implied.**

The Shinkengers filed through the gates of the Shiba house. Chiaki was first, bearing Kotoha on his back. Takeru, Mako, and Ryunosuke followed. Hikoma, seeing Chiaki carrying Kotoha, was initially concerned, but Chiaki waved him and the _kuroko_ off, assuring the older man that he would take care of Kotoha.

As the other Shinkengers headed for their rooms, Chiaki carried Kotoha to hers. Turning sideways so that he wouldn't have to put Kotoha down, he awkwardly fumbled with the sliding door with his ring finger and pinky until he was able to work a space between the door and the door frame large enough to stick his foot through. Using his foot, he slid the door open. Chiaki brought Kotoha over to her tatami. "Hey," he whispered, "We're back home. Want to lie down?"

Kotoha tried to open her eyes, which felt as if someone had tried to glue them shut. "Mm-hm," she murmured.

"I'm going to let go of your legs now, okay?" Chiaki slowly lowered his hands and loosened his grip on Kotoha's thighs. Her ankle boots thudded softly on the hardwood floor as her feet plopped down. Chiaki turned himself so that he was facing Kotoha, who still had her arms clasped around him. Letting her body drape over his arms, he carefully lowered her to the tatami. When Kotoha's body was laid out over the length of the mat, Chiaki untied her boots, slipped them off her feet, and set them aside. He gulped lightly before he peeled off her socks and dropped them in a heap next to her boots. He thought about helping her out of her cardigan, but decided against it as he pulled her blanket over her and up to her shoulders.

Chiaki sat cross-legged on the floor next to Kotoha, watching her as she slept. Her face was unusually serene, showing no trace of the hurt or exhaustion from earlier in the day. Chiaki sighed gently, both out of fatigue and heartache. The battle against Zuboshimeshi had been particularly brutal; he was still feeling some soreness from when he had been slammed backwards against the concrete façade of a parking garage by the Ayakashi's assault. What was nearly as painful was hearing Kotoha put herself down as if she was talking about the weather.

It had been bad enough that Kotoha had prevailed over him at practice that morning, but for her to douse herself with self-deprecation just because she was clumsy was harder for Chiaki to take. Part of it was, as he had later confessed, feeling worthless in light of Kotoha's blithe self-assessment. _You're younger, and I still lost to you. Despite that, you said you were a failure… then what would that make_ me_?_ Chiaki winced as he repeated the words in his head. _Did I really say that? That's not what I meant at all_, he thought.

Someone tapped gently on the door frame. Chiaki turned around to see Mako standing in the hallway just outside the room. "Hey, your dinner's getting cold," she said quietly.

Chiaki nodded. "Don't worry about me. I'll be there in a bit." Mako nodded back, giving him an understanding smile before she walked away. Chiaki got up and went to the door. He stood for a minute, his head bowed down, one hand on the door frame. He looked back at Kotoha. Biting his lip, he slid the door shut and went back to her side. Sitting on the floor once again, he sighed. _Kotoha_, he thought, _I know I apologized to you earlier for being an idiot, but I didn't tell you everything_. "Truth is," he said, his voice barely above a whisper, "when you were saying that you were stupid, I wasn't so much pissed off _at_ you as much as I was... heartbroken _for_ you." Chiaki felt tears pooling up in his eyes and he quickly wiped them away with the sleeve of his jacket. He bit his lip before he continued. "How the hell does anyone get off telling you that you're slow or stupid? It's not right. Damn it, it's just not right. Okay, so maybe you _are_ a little klutzy; so what? And maybe I _did_ call you stupid on the way home. I'm sorry about that, by the way. But you're not stupid, really, and I, um, I actually kind of liked carrying you." He grinned at the recollection. "I don't care what you or anyone else says. Kotoha Hanaori, you are truly amazing, and I'm in awe of you."

Chiaki yawned. The tumult of the day's events was beginning to catch up to him. As much as he wanted to stay and keep watch over Kotoha, he figured that it probably wasn't his place to do so, and that he couldn't do much more for her anyway. Suddenly, an idea hit him and he pulled out his Shodophone. He drew the _kanji_ for "bear" and "doll" in the air, and watched them mingle and materialize into a brown teddy bear. Chiaki took the teddy bear and tucked it under the blanket, laying it on the pillow next to Kotoha. He smiled as Kotoha stirred in her sleep, rolling over towards the teddy bear, and clutching onto it. Her face, previously just peaceful, now seemed more content. Chiaki whispered, "Sweet dreams, Kotoha," before he stood up and walked to the door. Taking one last look at Kotoha before he slid the door shut, Chiaki thought, _Yup, Kotoha, you're definitely amazing. You may not believe me now when I tell you that, but one of these days, I'll make you realize it. Just you wait. _

**I know, it kind of seems like it ended pretty similarly to "What's On Your Mind?", but I couldn't see any other way to end it. **

**This was another quickie one-shot that was poking at me, dying to get out. Hope you liked it!**


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